i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
