Whod you bang
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
