what if every blade of grass was a penis?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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