I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
