i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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