I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
why is half of my head shaved?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
