The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
