oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
