I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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