after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
