This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
