Swine flu. Run for my life!
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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