Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
