Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize