I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm like, not good at living.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
