She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
