i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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