smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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