On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
