Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
