he shaved USA in his pubs
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
