Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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