One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
