yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
