Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
