Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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