you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
