I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Pants are for mortals
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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