I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize