so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
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