Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
