yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
