dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
