can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
