i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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