At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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