The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
