Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
