ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
