I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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