she was so not down for the gang bang
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize