he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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