then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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