Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
