Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
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