We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
