We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
