Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
