I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
