so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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