I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
