That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
