kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
