doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
