he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
