I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize