bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
