Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
