I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
